God and My Girlfriends Women's Retreat
Crosspoint Church, Niceville, FL
More info TBA
“Abba’s Child” was inspired by the book of the same name by Brennan Manning. My dear friend Julia Ferrell loaned me the book 2 years ago, soon after my Dad passed away. I was definitely in an emotional slump, grieving the loss of my parents and wondering what was next for me. I hadn’t been writing much because most of my attention had been going towards caring for my parents in their last few years, and getting my youngest child through his last years in high school. I suddenly felt very lost and confused with a bit of an identity shake-up.
All my children were now grown and I wasn’t feeling very needed by them (and I don’t say that in a pitiful way. It’s natural for them to grow-up and be independent adults. I was proud of them for that!… but still, I was feeling a loss.) Both my parents had now passed, and I used to have a lot of my identity wrapped-up in being their daughter. Sadly, now that role was gone. At one time I was a busy songwriter in town, but because of many reasons, I was hardly writing anymore so that part of me had basically shut-down. I had left a church that had been my home base for 10 years, where I had enjoyed being a worship leader, but now that role was gone as well. There were a few other personal losses that I was juggling, and the combination of it all had me in full-on grief.
Mike suggested that we rent a cabin up in the Smoky Mountains for a weekend and invite some friends to join us… maybe it would inspire me and stir up my creativity again. I agreed that it sounded like a great idea, so we called some friends, including Rob and Lara Harris, to join us. It was October 30th, 2015. Halloween weekend. The leaves were showing off their gorgeous color as we drove up to find our rented cabin for the next three days. I was in the middle of reading the book Julia had given me, “Abba’s Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging” and I was realizing that, while my intentions had been good in finding my identity in being a daughter or a mother, or a songwriter or worship leader….. or anything else of this world, it was the wrong thing to do. Everything in this world is temporary, and when we try to attach our identity to roles we play here, we will always be let down. Finding our identity as children of the King, however is something we can rest in forever. On the back of my cd booklet, I put a quote from Brennan’s book:
“Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion.”
That quote rang so true with me that weekend and I realized that finding my way back to THAT identity was crucial for me.
So… Rob Harris is one of my favorite songwriters, and since we were on the mountain together that weekend, I pulled him out on the patio and had him grab his guitar. I told him that I had an idea for a song that I wanted to write with him based on this book. We worked on that idea for awhile that day, but honestly didn’t really come up with anything that stuck that day. Over the next year or so, I continued to prod, hound and stalk Rob Harris to schedule another writing appointment with me so we could take another stab at this idea. After the restraining order expired, he caved in. :-) I had been praying about our writing appointment and I felt God stir my heart to also invite my friend Kim Parent to join us that day. So, the three of us gathered out in my little sunroom and we wrote “Abba’s Child”. This time, the song flew out pretty easily and quickly. I decided to title the whole CD after this song because really, this is the key message about this whole record. That no matter what happens to us in this life, good or bad, we cannot attach our identities to it.
However, telling our stories is part of the healing process.
“In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift. If we conceal our wounds out of fear and shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become a light for others.”
That quote is part of the reason for this whole cd. Exposing my wounds and telling my story is healing. Not only for me, but hopefully for others who may be going through similar paths. Maybe they can find some common ground, and also some hope through what I’ve been through. And since I’m a songwriter, well… that is the best way I know to tell my story. I am, “Abba’s Child”…. and so are you. :-)
Writers: Marcia Ramirez, Rob Harris, Kim Parent
I am so much more than what you see
I’m not defined by what I do
I know what the world wants me to be
But I close my eyes to find the truth
So I breathe deep and take my stand
Cause I know exactly who I am
CH: I am Abba’s child, sweet and wild
A soul inside this skin
Such a price He paid, for potter’s clay
I belong to Him
Shame told me to walk away
But love pulled me back in
Now I’m reconciled
I’m Abba’s child
On this earth I have so many names
I’m called a wife, I’m called a mother
And I am blessed to have some call me friend
I am a sister and a daughter
I love these labels that I wear
But no other name can compare
You have been my God from the moment I was born, the moment I was born
I cry Abba Father, you call me your own
I am Abba’s child
I am Abba’s child
Acoustic Guitar-Mike Waldron
Electric Guitar-Derek Wells
Recorded at Sonic Eden Studio, Nashville, TN